John Smith, the Executive CEO of VRVRVR, gives his thoughts on his business and the industry as a whole.

TF: Great to see you, John.

JS: And you, Tom.

TF: So what is your background?

JS: Ah well, I’ve had it rough; no-one quite understands that, you know. Going through private school, studying English through a Russell Group university; it’s a miracle that my parents paid for the whole of my education.

TF: Sounds tough.

JS: Very tough. I came close to having to work in the Summer months during Uni. Absolutely dreadful. And after ten years in a decent job, I wanted a breath of fresh air and start something new.

TF: And now you’re an influencer?

JS: Absolutely; I have 500 followers on Twitter, it’s staggering.

TF: And none of them are bots who like and follow anything which even vaguely uses the word VR in them? At all?

JS: Yup. All genuine. I swear. And one of them is a sexy single in my area, which is just fantastic.

A picture of John using a camera, an illustrative way of showing he knows how to film in VR.

TF: So why did you start VRVRVR?

JS: Oh, well I thought VR looked cool.

TF: That’s it?

JS: Yes – I’ve seen some YouTubers play on the Oculus and it seemed, as you kids may say, ‘pretty dope.’

TF: But why VR and not AR or MR?

JS: … Aren’t they the same?

TF: … No.

JS: Oh… Well, I knew that. Don’t worry.

This is a pretty inspiring quote about the future of VR, which I read from Twitter about ten minutes ago.

TF: And how did you get the finances?

JS: Well, by promising what my technology can do and gathering millions of pounds in funding, then privately developing it for some time while bobbing along on a tonne of hype. I must say, it was a ‘magic leap’ of sorts to get where I am today.

TF: Indeed. And where do you think the industry may go?

JS: I read a VentureBeat article saying VR isn’t dead, so I guess that is my opinion for this week.

TF: And what are your thoughts on Palmer Luckey?

JS: Oh, he is the father of VR in our modern times and should be respected as a visionary of his age.

TF: But VRScout says he was a Trump supporter.

JS: Really? Well in that case he is an absolute tool with stupid hair and weird teeth.

Another inspiring quote. And my PR team didn’t write this. I promise.

TF: Who do you have in your team?

JS: I have a team of about five evangelists and two futurists, and each speak in about two VR conferences per day.

TF: Just VR conferences?

JS: Naturally. It’s nice to see Brad and Travis each week, it makes sense to meet in the same places.

TF: What about programmers? For, like, making your product?

JS: Oh, just the one really. We lock them in a cubicle and feed them ramen and Netflix shows until they learn Unity. Perfect.

TF: Right. Are you looking to hire more people?

JS: We need to get a writer to compile our newsletters and write blog posts for us.

TF: And how much would you pay them, if you don’t mind me asking?

JS: Pay? Goodness gracious no, why would I ever pay someone to write for us? No, they would get plenty of publicity and experience for their CV if they write for us – that is more than enough for them, I am sure. Excellent exposure.

A slightly more relaxed photo of John to show he is charismatic and cool. But not too cool. Like a teacher, really.

TF: Now let’s get to the real question: what is VRVRVR?

JS: Oh it will blow your mind. Really. It is the next stepping stone in the immersive reality revolution and completely change the world as we know it. Great philosophers have said important things, and it has all come down to what we offer. Since the dawn of time we have had but a veil over our eyes, trembling in the cold darkness as our ignorance puts its heavy weight on our backs; but now the veil is free, we may stand, and we can truly comprehend the true beauty of the world as we know it.

TF: Excellent, well that answers my question then.

JS: Wonderful.

TF: And how much would it cost?

JS: Well it used to cost £2,500, but we are now knocking it down to £2,400 plus your happiest memory for a limited time only.

TF: And this is subsidised by the venture capital you have gathered?

JS: Oh yes, certainly. All of it. And none of it went anywhere else, I can assure you.

TF: Well it was great to speak to you, John.

JS: And you too, Tom. Let’s speak soon. So, when will this interview go up?

TF: Soon, I promise.

JS: Ah, excellent. Good good. Fantastic. Absolutely wonderful. So, yes, when is it going up again?

TF: Soon.

Tom Ffiske